Frankly, I don’t know how I’ll survive my golden years. Conversations with my children nowadays leave me wondering whether the people who inhabit our house truly came from my womb. Consider the following breakfast talk with my youngest son this morning:
Son: What do you think of Elon Musk?
Me: I don’t think of him.
Son: What do you think of Brexit?
Me: I don’t think about it.
Son: What do you think of Ken Ham?
Me: I don’t think about them. (thinking of Christian apologists I don’t follow)
Son: Since when have you started using gender-neutral pronouns?
Son: Do you have a custom domain for your blog? Or is it just wordpress.com?
Me: Just wordpress.com
Son: You should shift to github. No ads … completely static.
Son: Good coffee always saves the world. (rising from the dining table)
Me: (looking down at my cup of green tea and thinking “I should have drunk coffee instead”)
But. Conversations that cause my head to spin are the least of my worries. There is always an antidote to questions that cannot be answered: silence. No, sirree … I have more pressing problems to deal with. It seems that my brain processing skills are slowing down to a more leisurely pace. The fact that I’ve been sleep-deprived for so long could have something to do with it.
Whatever. I cannot count the number of times when I’ve been called out by second son for asking questions that could have been answered by the remarks preceding it. Like the time second son was introducing a girl he met up with in the city for the first time.
Me: So, are you part of Counterflow? (assuming that must be where he met her)
Son: Mom, I just told you she’s not part of Counterflow!!
Me: Ah! Sorry, I didn’t hear. (flashing a lamebrain smile)
I bit my tongue and refrained from posing the question “Aren’t you the girl he met up with yesterday?” Instead I turned to safer topics and asked “So, what course do you plan to take up at university?”
Believe me, it is only just now that I have come to realize how painful it must be for teenagers to introduce an airhead of a parent to their friends.